Empowered Walking Ministries

2012-01-24T14:26:00.000-05:00

Living by the Rules

I remember as if it were yesterday. It was a hotday in June. I was tending to my newborn. My son was in the front yardwith his friends. As he went out to play, I said, "You stay in theyard now."

I heard the bells of the ice cream truck. My 3-year old son entered the house, "Mommy, may I have an ice creamcone?" Attending to his sister of 3 weeks, I simply replied,"No," and he returned to play with his friends... or so I thought.

It could not have been more than 3 minutes when Ilooked outside, checking to be sure that all was well. My son wasgone! His friends pointed down the street and said, "He followed theice cream truck."

Grabbing my infant, I jumped in the car and wentlooking for her brother. When I found him, I pulled the car over, got outof the car, yelled at my son, smacked his butt, and firmly placed him in thecar.

I demanded that he never again walk away from thehouse. I had been so scared. My son? He was confused and startedcrying. I hugged him so tight that he could hardly breathe. Ithought that I had lost him. Then I promised myself that I would never againleave my 3-year old outside unsupervised. Limits.

Parents are our first teachers about limits. Limits, we are told, are for our own good - our safety, our health; andfor the good of society - our values, our relationships. As children, wecalled these limits "rules." For example -
1.   Do not touch a hot stove. Cross the streetonly at corners and only when the light is green.
2.   Do not open the door to strangers. Brush yourteeth. Eat your vegetables.
3.   Do not be rude. When you ask for something, say"Please." When you receive something, say "Thank you."
4.   Do not take what belongs to others. Respectyour elders.
5.   Do not run in the house. Do your homework. Say your prayers.

Children test their boundaries - to see just howmuch they can "get away with." There are consequences for"testing" the limits - perhaps "the look" mother gives fromfar across a room, a verbal warning, a tongue lashing a pluck on the hand,banishment to a corner, a spanking, "grounding.“ The rules areimposed.

Experiences, others and our own, become ourteachers about limits. They are for our own good - our safety, our health; and for the good of society - our values, our relationships. Therules are self-imposed. Although the likely consequences of non-complianceare known, we still "test" them.

Those of us living with a mental illness oremotional disorder, it seems, have extra rules---rules of self-care. Knowingand respecting our limits can be life saving. Yet, like the toddler andthe adolescent, we desire to be like "everybody else". We test thelimits to see just how much we can get away with. For example:
1.            Always take your medication.
2.            Get at least 8 hours sleep ... rest... every night.
3.            Resist the carbohydrate cravings. Your brain andemotions will thank you.
4.            Say "no" to activities, no matter howhonorable, which may overwhelm you and lead to breach of rule #2.
5.            Exercise. Keep a fitness routine to build andsustain physical, mental and emotional well-being.

I struggle to honor my limits. Thus, my immune system is “whacked,”and my mind is mushy. I muddlethrough time-sensitive tasks. It is not that I don't know the rules; somedays I simply lack energy to think about or act upon rules. Can I blame the"winter blues?"

Learning,making and living by rules … it is all a process. I am making a shift. To become more empowering in myrule-making, I choose self-love as the bedrock of all rules.

Comment; share your strategies for living bythe "rules of self-care.”

Confronting 2012

2012-01-01T15:21:00.000-05:00

A New Year, a new month, a new day, a new moment in time. This is a time for reflection, examination and contemplation. Analyzing the "lessons learned," we plan for what's next. We resolve that this year we will do life differently... better. It is an annual ritual. Is confrontation part of your process? I wonder if I am alone.

Avoiding. We try to avoid it because confrontation is...

never pleasant
seldom easy
potentially damaging to our ego, relationships, plans, comfort
nearly always unpredictable with a few unintended consequences
always a force for change - causing major shifts in the status quo

Emoting. Anticipating, let alone encountering, confrontation may generate...

alarm
anxiety
worry
discomfort
fear

Hiding. Confrontation lurks in...

workplaces,
places of worship,
halls of justice,
homes, and
mirrors

Healing. Confrontation can lead to a more optimal level of well-being. Confrontation can be ...

cleansing
painful
reinvigorating
purposeful
freeing

Telling. For much of the year 2011, I was stuck. It took a while to acknowledge that the "bonding agent" was fear. The challenge was confronting the fear. In the process, I battled physical, mental, financial and spiritual attacks. My opponent stalked me during waking hours and taunted me when I dared to close my eyes, turning dreams into nightmares. Resorting to denials and outright falsehoods, I tried to hide and to runaway; I yelled and I cursed; I prayed and I pleaded. I lost my pride, my strength, and my voice. Only then did I stop to confront... you guessed it, me.

Desiring to be well, I stepped outside my comfort zone. I learned several lessons:

Tell the truth to self about self. Call it out! Say "Oops! Ouch! OMG! then choose to let go of those people, places, articles and attitudes which do not serve you well.
Forgive self and others. All are accountable for the consequences of their own actions.
Be thankful. There's now scientific evidence of the healing effect of gratitude.
Practice the presence of God. Receive the gifts of love, power, and discipline. You will see the invisible and do the impossible, even in the face of fear.
Affirm the divine that is within. Write! Sing! Speak! Post! Walk! Dance! LOL! Repeat!

No resolutions for me in 2012. Just a reminder and affirmation: I AM FEARLESS.

Confront what you must in 2012 in order to move away, move forward, move over, move up, move out of your own the way. Let's get moving to an optimal level of total wellness.

"The Up Side of Being Down"

2011-11-23T21:44:00.000-05:00

Except among distant associates and strangers passing by, it is well known that staying on my feet is quite a challenge. My history of falling is chronicled in my memoir, Power Walking, A Journey to Wholeness. At the end, I celebrated my position of "Upright".

One week before Thanksgiving, I was gripped by a pain in my gut that knocked me off my feet. Gripping indigestion, draining dehydration, aching muscles, feverish bouts and weakening fatigue ganged up and knocked me off my feet -- again. The doctor said that it was an intestinal infection that, through regurgitation, had damaged my vocal chords and left me voiceless.

Laying on my back and contemplating a family day that I would spend alone (self-imposed so as not to spread germs), I composed my "Gratitude List". There is an up side of being down:

Offers new perspective, a way of looking at things from a different position
Gives time for rest, sleeping, writing
Removes guilt for taking the time to take care of me
Reminds my "being" that, sooner rather than later, I can be back on my feet and walking.

I am grateful. Share what is on your gratitude list.

Breast Cancer Awareness - I Heard Sobbing

2011-10-31T21:01:00.000-04:00

In one of the most far-reaching and visible public awareness campaigns held each October, fundraising events, dietary recommendations, public service announcements, survival stories, and health statistics raise our consciousness about breast cancer.

My first awareness of breast cancer occurred nearly 50 years ago – in the fall of 1963. The incident began with me walking up the stairs in my home. I was looking for my mother because I had something urgent to tell her. I no longer remember what was so important. I heard my mother whispering on the telephone… and she was sobbing as she spoke with my Aunt Ozie, a nursing assistant and the family’s medical expert.

Running into her bedroom, frightened, I asked, “What’s wrong?” Sniffing, my mother said that she was okay; then she told me to go back down stairs. Clearly, she was not telling the truth. Now, I was really scared! Soon after, my mother pulled my twin and I into her arms. She told us about a lump in her breast; she let us feel it – hard, rough and round.

This was the start of my mourning. The diagnosis was another traumatic event, second only to the unexpected death of my father before I was age 2. We believed that a cancer diagnosis meant certain death. My mother made arrangements for her burial place, taught her daughters how to do a breast self - examination, and lived as if each day were more precious than the day before.

Over the next 25 years, my mother would have a double mastectomy, undergo extensive chemotherapy treatments with many side effects – including hair loss, memory impairment, severe weight loss, and lymph edema. There would be periods of remission, years when the family almost forgot the lurking “Big “C.”

In 1975, a new diagnosis was made – bone metastases; but the 1-3 year prognosis was wrong. On at least three occasions, my mother was declared “near death” and the family was advised to “start making arrangements”. Over and over, the doctors declared a “miraculous recovery”. I became convinced that my mother would be forever victorious over this enemy.

By 1988, a compromised immune system contributed to anemia, lymphoma, heart palpitations and pneumonia as the malignancy spread. My mother had experienced 11 death-defying years of abundant living years - finding a loving partner, spoiling three grandchildren, celebrating family reunions, and teaching life lessons.

Breast cancer is a family matter. We carry the BRAC1 and BRAC2 genetic markers. Breast cancer has made no distinction among genders. Many, but not all, have survived.

My mother announced that she was coming and then walked through the gates of heaven. Seriously.

· On a Tuesday my mother, she insisted on walking. Despite warning by the nurse providing home hospice care, my twin and I obediently helped my mother to stand, supporting her on each side. After a painstaking effort and just two steps, she allowed us to gently lower her into the wheel chair that was placed near-by.

· On Wednesday, she called “home” (South Carolina) and told the family that she would not be here long. If they wanted to see her, they needed to come “now.” They came.

· On Thursday, she stopped eating.

· On Friday, she stopped talking - except when she twice looked heavenward and said two words, “Hold On.”

· On Saturday, family filled the house. Folks had come from Michigan, South Carolina, Maryland and across D.C. We watched TV, played the piano, ate fried chicken, potato salad and biscuits, and we talked – children, grandchildren, brother, nieces, nephews, beloved friend and nurse.

Near day’s end, my twin and I asked everyone else to leave the bedroom so that we could have “alone time”. Blessed to have this opportunity, we talked about family love and gratitude. Then, the here-to-fore listless body rose up one last time as she said “Hold On.”

Lowering back down to the bed, my mother gazed deeply into our eyes. My twin and I talked about my mother’s three cherished grandchildren. They knew that she was very sick; they knew how much she loved them. We knew how much their births had been life giving to her.

Finally, the three of us (her words inaudible) recited Psalm 23 – “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death… thou art with me… surely goodness and mercy shall follow me and I shall dwell….” My twin and I kissed her, one on each cheek. We went down the stairs to welcome more visiting family members, just for 10 – 15 minutes. When I returned, that quickly, my mother had slipped into unconsciousness.

· On Sunday morning, I awoke at the foot of her bed to see my mother peacefully sleeping with a smile on her face, breathless.

Breast cancer, in many instances, is not an imminent death sentence. Rates of remission and survival are so much greater than forty - eight years ago. While only one person receives the chemotherapy treatments, family members are not shielded. We walk with and for our loved one on the battle trail.

My family’s experiences with my mother’s cancer struggle, survival, and release are an intergenerational, everlasting gift: an appreciation of phenomenal lives, sustaining roots, and enduring wings.

If Feet Could Talk

2011-10-25T20:27:00.000-04:00

October 21, 2011, President Barack Obama announced the end of the Iraq War which began nearly nine years ago. What was not said? As some say, "Silence is Loud." There was neither a declaration of victory nor an acknowledgement of defeat. What we heard was an executive decision- carefully considered, deliberatively delivered - it is time to come home.

Reactions are mixed. Is the departure of 40,000 U.S. troops a withdrawal or a retreat? Is this decision on time, past time or untimely? What is the full meaning of removing our military presence in Iraq?

On October 23, 2011, a Spencer Platt/Getty photo showed U.S. troops walking behind an armored vehicle along an extended dirt road in Iraq. The photo appeared under the headline, "Veterans ponder pain of Iraq War, in The Baltimore SUN. For sure, U.S. military presence in Iraq has been a journey.

"Alabama Poem" by Nikki Giovanni comes to mind: As a student from Tuskegee University walks down the street with text books in hand, an old lady with a corn cob pipe calls out , "Girl, my feet seen more than your eyes ever going to read in them books. Better come study these feet." In order to further the girl's education, the old lady offers to give the student a "cut - off "piece of her bunion. The implication is that such a gift would provide more wisdom than the knowledge contained in books.
I treasure a bunion of my own.

Feet were made for walking. But if my feet could talk, here is what they would say:

delay does not the mean denial
improbable does not mean impossible
simple does not mean easy
unlikely does not mean unattainable
sight is not the same as insight
action, no action - each is a choice
wounds require healing, even those which are self-inflicted or invisible to the eye
healing is a painful process requiring courageous action by the wounded - individual, family, nation
walking is both a daily experience and a lifetime journey.

Share. If your feet could talk, what would they say?

Out of a Recession came Optimal Living

2011-09-11T17:01:00.001-04:00

Optimal Living Magazine (OLM) is an inspirational Christian lifestyle publication founded on the belief that “life is a journey that can produce ultimate fulfillment when putting God first through reading His Word and making purpose filled strides to walk in His Way.” Empowered Walking Ministries (EWM) interviewed Tanisha Hopson, Founder, Publisher and Editor – in – Chief of Optimal Living Magazine.

EWM: Tanisha, tell us a little about yourself.

Tanisha: Well, I was born and grew up in New Jersey. I graduated from Rutgers University. I enrolled in college with the intent of becoming a doctor and I majored in biochemistry. However, in my junior year, I realized that I wasn’t a doctor; I was indeed a writer. Deep down, it bothered me that many of the chemical formulas were etched in stone. I wanted to create my own formulas, tell my own stories. So, I changed my major to English/Journalism

Going with that feeling was one of the best things I ever did because I believe that you should never pursue a career for the monetary benefits, but to pursue your passion and purpose in life. My grandmother, who was a very gifted writer, taught me to journal my thoughts and feelings. She would say that writing is a vehicle to understanding yourself and exploring your creative side.

I started writing my first column, RU Talkin’, for the Rutgers Observer student newspaper at the Rutgers – Newark campus. I would make up topics of interest and walk up to complete strangers and engage them in conversations concerning their worldview concerning campus life, politics, and relationships. The column was a big hit on campus for the rest of my college career.

In 1998, my love for writing lead me to start the Writing Authority LLC (www.thewritingauthority.com), which enabled me to privately tutor, proofread, and edit the papers of students from various academic disciplines at different campus locations. Thereafter, in 2000, seeing the need for my peers to have an effective resume` and cover letter as they graduated from college, I incorporated career development services as an essential part of the Writing Authority portfolio.

After graduating from Rutgers University, in the year 2000, I interned at Black Enterprise Magazine and wrote several articles regarding business money matters, e-commerce, teen entrepreneurs, and money management. The lessons taught by Earl Graves, Sr., and the staff were priceless. It was there that I began to dream of becoming a publisher of my own magazine one day. I was in awe with the whole operation and observed the process of producing the publication from beginning to end.

Shortly thereafter, I worked in Washington, DC for several years before God called me to start publishing Optimal Living Magazine online in 2008.

EWM: You describe OLM not as your business or your job, but as your ministry. What inspired you to start OLM?

Tanisha: Yes, I describe OLM as my ministry because I believe that God has called me to minister to people in this way. God has enabled me to use my gifts of writing, encouragement, exhortation and faith to speak to thousands on a bi-monthly basis. It is never a chore but an opportunity to serve God’s people and those that may not know Him by helping them to think outside the box as they navigate through this life.

I was inspired to start Optimal Living Magazine while I was living in shabby conditions in a basement apartment in Washington, DC. At the time, I was just getting back on my feet from my own personal economic downfall. However, while watching the evening news, God spoke to my heart about starting a publication that would uplift people that were depressed, hopeless, suicidal, or just headed in the wrong direction as a result of the things that transpire from the hardships of recession.

EWM: Your publication started in a basement apartment with 15 online readers. The readership now has grown to more than 20,000. What does OLM offer readers?

Tanisha: Yes, my online readership grew from15 to 5,000, 7,000 and now 20,000 + readers. Optimal Living Magazine offers readers hope that things can and will get better. It gives them an understanding of what they are going through and how to fight to get back up and pursue their God given purposes.

EWM: OLM is holistic with articles addressing various aspects of life. Tell us about the scope of your articles.

Tanisha: Optimal Living Magazine is unique because the article ideas come to me straight from God. I don’t look at other publications to find out what the content of the articles should be. I simply seek God while walking, cleaning, or simply listening to the choir sing at my home church – Alfred Street Baptist Church in Alexandria, Virginia. Worship music really moves me to write! I am sure that there is something that inspires individuals to flow in their gift, and church music is one of the strongest vehicles that God uses to move me to a comfortable space for writing.

This magazine is all about optimal living in my readers’ relationships with God, their spouses, finances and other people. One of the things that we miss greatly in this generation is the power and significance of relationship. God made us relational people and we need to get back to connecting, creating and maintaining these relationships. I focus on this topic a great deal in my magazine. Our most popular columns are: The Purpose Drivin’ Living Tips, The Wifey 101 Series, True Confessions of a Saved Black Man, Harvest Matters, and Career & Leadership Insight.

EWM: The November/December 2010 issue includes an article I wrote, “Purpose Drivin’ Living Tips” - “5 Simple Ways to Recover from Life’s Hurts". How can Christian writers contribute to and support OLM?

Tanisha: We are currently seeking writers for the Lifestyles section, the Wellness Corner and the new section dedicated to increasing financial awareness, Harvester. I am also interested in people that have a desire to write special interest stories. Christian writers can send samples of their work, including topics of what he or she would like to write about, to: publisher@optimal-livingmagazine.com.

EWM: Where can one purchase OLM and how can a reader subscribe?

Tanisha: Readers can subscribe or purchase single copies of Optimal Living Magazine online at: http://www.optimal-livingmagazine.com/subscribe.html. Or, by emailing: subscriptions@optimal-livingmagazine.com. The subscriptions are now $25 per year.

Currently, the magazine is available for purchase at the Gospel Spreading Bookstore (202 745-2665) and

the Greater Mt. Calvary Bookstore (202- 832-4130) in Washington, D.C.

EWE: Is there anything more you would like to share?

Tanisha: Well, I would like to say thank you for taking the time to find out more about Optimal Living Magazine. Stay plugged in by visiting the site (www.optimal-livingmagazine.com) on a monthly basis to see what new articles/editions have been posted.

It has been a privilege to talk to you and I pray that your audience is blessed by what I have shared. God Bless You!

7 Secrets to Healing Brokenness

2011-08-10T18:44:00.001-04:00

On this journey called "life, we experience mental, emotional and spiritual as well as physical brokenness. We may

live with a mental illness or a debilitating auto-immune condition
grieve the death of a dear one or the demise of a dream
question why God allows horrific acts of violence or devastating natural disasters
break a leg or a law.

Becoming whole can be both painful and exhilarating. The process takes time, courage and faith. Here are 7 Secrets to Healing Brokenness - body, mind and spirit.

1. Awareness.

Acknowledge the fractures in your life. Recognize signs of brokenness - swelling, sadness, numbness, aches. Denial delays fulfillment, in this case, healing.

2. Worthiness.

Embrace your personal value. Believe that you are worthy of the time, effort and investments to become whole. Nurture your mind with positive thoughts; your body with nutritious food; and your spirit with love.

3. Willingness.

Exercise discipline. In order to complete their recovery, patients may enter a rehabilitation program. Participants must be willing to do the hard work facing them. Whether a fractured hip, incarceration, substance abuse, or a suicide attempt, "coming back" requires a mixing of intention and sweat.

4. Readiness

Prepare for the healing. Reach out for the support. Spiritual sit-ups will strengthen the core muscles of faith in your Higher Power. You can do this!

5. Forgiveness.

Let go of the resentment, guilt and anger. The Gospels offer counsel on the difficult task of forgiving those who have caused us harm. Begin with self-forgiveness. The released energy will become available for channeling into your healing.

6. Fearlessness.

Dare to venture outside your comfort zone. This may mean disregarding stigma, exploring alternative treatments, making life-style changes, developing new friendships, and forming new habits. This is not easy stuff. To paraphrase the words of a world leader who came from a "broken" home, there is audacity in hope.

7. Gratefulness.

Express appreciation. If you envision wholeness - see it, imagine the experience of wholeness -taste it, believe in the possibility of wholeness - touch it, and thank your Soul Source for the coming transformation - hear it, you will start the healing process. Celebrate.

Share secrets you have uncovered for healing brokenness.

"The Grace of Browsing" - Walking Among the Book Shelves

2011-07-22T17:42:00.015-04:00

In these days of Ebooks and audiobooks, hard back/paper back books have lost their appeal and many...too many...traditional bookstores are closing.

I love bookstores... walking throughout the store, I stop at the tables marked "Bargain", "Just Released", "Best Sellers", "Books made into Movies". I walk from section to section visiting the shelves of poetry, and inspiration, books on the latest management trend, and novels. Sometimes I will buy a book; but I don't feel guilty if I depart without a purchase. I have other reasons for visiting book stores:

* exploration and discovery
* restoration
* intellectual stimulation
* occasional conversation with other book lovers

When my children were little, visiting a bookstore was a favorite outing. It still is one of my favorite past times. Once, I almost missed my plane because I lost track of time browsing through books at one of the terminal book stores.

Both chain stores (e.g., Borders) and small independent bookstores are closing their doors. These closures are a loss

* financial - lost jobs, lost taxes, lost spill over traffic to nearby businesses

* recreational - bookstores are great places to spend leisure time, to meet friends

* Sense of connectedness with authors - I am referring to book signings. Virtual tours lack the intimacy of being in the presence, conversing with, shaking hands and watching the special message as it is being written especially for you inside the book (the author's autograph)

What do you think that we are losing, if anything, with closure of bookstores?

Here is a thoughtful and provocative article on this subject by another booklover.

The Grace of Browsing

Looking for Fulfillment? Empty

2011-06-08T22:14:00.003-04:00

Amazing Grace! how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now I'm found, Was blind but now I see.

I sang this song as a child. I sing this song today. But now I understand this well-known hymn to be a testimony of healing. The two physical experiences referenced in the song are metaphors for journeys to mental, emotional and spiritual wellness. Just ask anyone who has made unwise choices and has the scars to prove it.

I used to think that the "sound that saved" was music. I now understand that the song of Grace is referring to "the Word". We hinder or forestall fulfillment of our dreams, hopes or purpose by failing to understand the true meaning of a word. The cause of unfulfillment may be the failure to empty out the garbage.

Let's examine the word empty.

I confess that reading or hearing this word without any context initially conjures up notions of lack, absence, nothingness. A description - the adjective. There is a another possibility, a call to action - the verb. I am investing resources with wise guides who are challenging me to empty my garbage in order to make room for the blessings of fulfillment. I share:

Why should we empty? in order to develop open receptivity to "the good" which will fulfill our ordained purpose.

What do we empty out? our temple--our bodies, hearts, and mind.

What do we empty? self-destructive behaviors and feelings: deceptions, denial, doubts, depression, anger, shame, blame, hatred, unforgiveness, and fear. Anything or anyone that hides, hurts, or hinders fulfillment.

Where do we empty? It depends. It may be the shredder, the therapist's couch, the city dump, the fireplace, a friend's shoulder, the altar. What is important is that the garbage gets put out.

How do we empty? it is a process: (a) identify the "stuff" in your life; (b) change thoughts and habits; (c) endure discomfort of the unfamiliar by practicing the presence of God, (d) celebrate discipline, and (e) believe; plant and nurture "mustard seed" faith.

When do we empty? Now is the moment to begin. The first step is to pray for mindfulness, discernment, courage, faith and gratitude.

Empty. Make room for the fulfillment of your dreams, hopes and purpose.

NAMIWALKS Kick-Off Breakfast: Tips for Teams

2011-04-29T16:54:00.000-04:00

How to put More "Pep in your Step"

2011-04-15T19:38:00.000-04:00

l

Prologue
There is always one in every audience. I am referring to the complainer, grumbler, constant questioner, and joker whose words, tone and body language become distractions for others. At the very least, these persons are irritants to a presenter. Recently, I had such an experience.

The Story
This workshop was for women experiencing homelessness and/or living with a mental illness. I did not know if I would have one or 10 participants. I was ready - the topic was on the whiteboard in bright, bold colors; a pen and booklet were at each seat, and two "ice breakers" were prepared At the top of the hour, as I stood in the middle of a U-shape seating arrangement of desks and chairs, five women came though the door into the workshop. I was pleased.

The topic was "Journey to Wholeness: What's Love Got to do with It? Within 15 minutes, the workshop was evolving into a conversation among new friends in which we were sharing ideas, recalling experiences, and posing thought-provoking questions to one another. Having participants engaged in an invigorating discussion, I was enjoying the flow.

Then, one more woman entered, I should say "straggled" into, the room. I introduced myself and gave her a cheery "Welcome!" Avoiding eye contact, she said nothing. Her look was sour, walk lumbering, posture stooped, and energy low. Bringing her into the fold, I quickly summarized the ground we had already covered.

We resumed the amicable conversation. We were getting down to the "nitty-gritty", as the saying goes. Like "Sistas" sitting at a kitchen table, we shared how we express love for ourselves and to ourselves. Heads nodded as one participant shared her "then - but now" story. Encouraging words spilled from the lips of a few participants seeking to uplift a participant who suggested that self-love was something foreign to her. They insisted she was worthy.

Turning to the late comer, who until this point had said nothing clearly audible, I asked, "How do you care for yourself?" She responded in a hostile voice, "Take my medicine." I tried coaxing her to say more: "How do you set boundaries, discipline yourself so that your general health is not neglected? Again, she simply responded, "Take my medicine." Having struggled with medication compliance myself, I suspected there was a long story behind those few words. "Okay", I thought, and moved on.

Eventually our talk turned to the question, "How do you comfort yourself?" The disappointments, hurts and pain encountered in life were implied in the question. I was the first to share, "I spend time with my grandson. I love his hugs and his innocence." Others shared their "strategies". Someone said, " I read the Bible". When one participant said that she enjoys a nice bubble bath, "ooohs" and "aaahs" floated up. Added to this vision were a scented candle, a cup of tea, and soft music.

I turned to the"late comer". She said in a contemplative voice, "I like songs; those old time songs." Her voice was barely audible. "Oh", I mused, "like Mahalia Jackson and James Cleveland?" No response. Turning to the center of the room, suddenly I stopped. I heard singing. I turned back.

"At last and did my Savior bleed and did my sovereign die". I joined her, looking directly into her uplifted eyes, Did he devote that sacred head for such a fool as I? At the cross, at the cross, where I first saw the light and the burdens of my heart rolled away; It was there by faith I received my sight and now I am happy all the day."

The experience was surreal. Moaning. Silence. Stillness. It may have been seconds or it may have been minutes. I turned to the center of the room and began to close out the workshop. I don't think that it was my imagination. I swear that as I greeted each person farewell and thanked her for coming, the one who had entered last departed with a new pep in her step.

I cleaned up, gathered my things and spoke with management. I departed feeling lighter on my feet, singing a song.

Epilogue:
For those who look for "the points" as a part of every "how to", this is for you:

Be daringly fearless. Overcome resistance to new places and experiences, especially if encouraged by someone you trust. By steadfastly putting one foot in front of the other, even at a slow pace, you will arrive!
Be wholly present. Open your ears (body), thoughts (mind) and heart (soul) to the tone, content and vibrations of what is occurring around you and within you. By your presence you are both blessed and a blessing. Step to it!
Be fully engaged. Optimize opportunities by sharing and receiving knowledge, wisdom and love extended to you and offered by you. The consequent enlightenment will release burdens and baggage, making it easier to straighten your back and move your feet!
Be tenaciously hopeful. Hope sharpens focus. Hope prepares the way for fulfillment. Hope energizes... adds pep! Sing a song as you step!

Making Room for "A New Thing"!

2011-01-01T19:54:00.002-05:00

I was intentional in how I spent the last day of the year 2010 - New Year's Eve. I filled my day with reflection, meditation, prayer and joyous anticipation. The name "Eve" means "source of life". In other words - conception, creation, birth, preparation for something that is about "to be".

In the morning I attended a yoga class where we practiced deep breathing, chest openings and sustained stretching positions. Whew! despite how it may have appeared, that class was a real work out.

Next, I joined my church family in an afternoon prayer vigil as we made supplications for individual and collective openness and receptivity to that for which the Lord is preparing us. I prayed for sustaining power during periods of discomfit which we will undoubtedly encounter.

In the evening, desiring something New, I accepted an invitation to fellowship in another temple of worship with folks whose names I did not know but with whom I felt a kindred spirit. Young and old, we listed feelings, habits, attitudes and conditions that we desired to release, cleanse, destroy and erase". We watched as ministers placed "let go" lists into large silver Bowls sitting on the pulpit. We were ready to clear out all that interferes with our receipt of the highest good which God desires for us.

Each of us wrote a "Dear God" letter, expressing our specific prayers for thoughts, practices and conditions that would allow our highest good to be manifested. Punctuality, mindfulness and order were among the items on my list. The letters were placed in a large golden chest. The congregation watched as impediments to Goodness went up in flame. Holding hands, we prayed with great expectation for the manifestation of the requests placed in the "treasure" chest.

Led by the jubilant playing of the instruments and joyful music by the choir, we sang and swayed triumphantly to the words of the Soulful Hallelujah Choir. We welcomed abundance into our lives in 2011.

Now, I am ready to move forward. I am ready for the Next volume of my trilogy - Empowered Walking, I am ready to "forget the former things" and not dwell on the past. I am open to receiving a New thing!
(Isaiah 43: 18,19)

What preparations are you making so that in 2011 you will be open to receiving "a new thing?"

Minority Mental Health Awareness

2010-07-31T18:16:00.001-04:00

In 2008, the U.S. House of Representatives passed a Resolution declaring July as Bebe Moore Campbell Minority Mental Health Awareness Month. On this last day of July 2010, I pondered whether to post this salute to Mental Wellness in the African American and other minority communities. Then I said to myself, “It is not August yet.”
This designation of MMHA Month is recognition at the national level that there is a need for systematic, directed, and focused efforts in minority communities to promote mental health awareness. The desired outcomes include increased awareness and recognition of the symptoms of mental illnesses which are biologically based brain disorders. There is a difference between "knowing about" and "knowing". I know.

This is an opportunity to:
 Advocate for more culturally competent, accessible and affordable treatment
 Reduced stigma within these communities
 Enhance support for minorities living with mental illness and for their families
 Educate and empower minority individuals, families and communities with the knowledge and understanding that recovery is possible

As one who lives with chronic depression, one who has relatives with a mental illness, and one who is both a community educator and advocate for mental wellness, my understanding goes beyond that of intellectual curiosity. As an African American woman, I choose not to be silent on this issue. It has become my passion.

In May, National Mental Health Month, an important article appeared in the monthly issue of Black Enterprise magazine. Denise Campbell penned an article about depression among African Americans. "The Walking Wounded" makes the link between health and wealth in the African American community. I know.

I left three executive/management jobs because employment at that level was detrimental to my health. Reduced income from unemployment was magnified by the costs of treatment - medication, therapy and surgery for the somatic manifestations of the mental dis-ease. Then there were the costs of complementary treatments which are not covered by health insurance.

In the summer 2010 issue of Real Health, Andrea King reports the story of a mother who sought support while coping with a son whose increasing encounters with the criminal justice system eventually were attributed to behavioral manifestations of bipolar disorder. What a discovery, never imagined, says the mother. The responses from family and friends were not supportive. She and her son were now victims of stigma, triggering depression for the mother. I know.

I, too, experienced the pain of isolation, ignorance and misunderstanding from those in whose circle I belonged... used to belong. Not being able to hide, shield or to protect my loved ones from gossip, whispers, and malicious deeds rooted in stigma hurt. Like Jacquelynne Borden-Conyers, I sought and found support and education. In my case, the vehicle was the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).

There are many myths about mental illnesses. In the African American community, mental illness may be viewed as a curse or as evidence of demonic possession. Such views hinder awareness, treatment and recovery. Reluctance to seek or accept treatment may look like stoicism, prayer ... nothing but prayer, or even denial. By themselves, these responses are not effective treatments. I know.

At some level, I believed the myths. I “sucked it up”, prayed without ceasing, “fell out” in the church, and denied there was a problem – with me or my family members. I contemplated, disassociated from my environment and sometimes from reality, became emotionally absent, contemplated homicide, and had suicidal ideations. I have refused and forgotten to take my medications.

Mental illnesses differ. Early and proper diagnoses are critical and can be life-saving. Treatment varies based on the nature of the illness and the individual’s condition and circumstances. But, in many instances, recovery is possible. I know.

I have never waited in an emergency room for a “psych evaluation”. Nor have I been admitted to a psychiatric ward or hospital. Not Yet. I embrace a holistic approach to wellness - body, mind and spirit. These are my “steps to wellness”.

 I practice yoga, visit a fitness center at least 4 times a week; and I am on the path to a more healthy way of eating.
 I pray, read the Bible and listen to inspirational tapes.
 I attend family and individual support groups when unduly distressed, and I support my peers when I have the opportunity.
 I keep my scheduled therapy appointments and I faithfully take my medications.
 I journal, I sing, I dance, and I hug my family and friends often.
 I educate, advocate, and share my story.

See the following books, articles, and a favorite blog by African American women who have written about mental illness. You will find spirituality as a part of each telling.
 72-Hour Hold by Bebe Moore Campbell
 Power Walking, a Journey to Wholeness by Maxine B. Cunningham
 Black Pain, It Just Looks Like We’re Not Hurting by Terrie M. Williams
 Willow Weep for Me, A Black Woman’s Journey Through Depression by Meri Nan-Ama Danquah
 Something Like Beautiful, One Single Mother’s Story by asha bandele
 Saving Our Last Nerve, The Black Woman’s Path to Mental Health by Marilyn Martin, M.D., M.P.H.
 Broken Silence, Opening Your heart and Mind to Therapy – A Black Woman’s Recovery Guide by D. Kim Singleton, Ed. D.
 Beautiful Mind Blog by Rev. Monica A. Coleman, Ph.D. www.monicaacoleman.com/blog

Let us step to wellness. Be Well.

Recognizing Our Blessings

2010-05-24T19:45:00.000-04:00

Some of our best blessings are those dreams that did not come true.

Looking back over my career, I recall:

Not being able to accept a coveted position in Los Angeles. I later learned that I was being used by others to "stab someone in the back". More significantly, on the west coast, years later I would not have been available to care for my mother as she battled cancer.
Being selected for a position that I really did not want. My selection made my ailing mother "proud"; that made me happy. The experiences and opportunities were tremendous.
Being moved from a high profile job to a back office, low visibility position with other "cast off" staff. My staff and I created and catapulted a little noticed law into a major program and priority of a federal agency and other partnering domestic agencies. I was back on top!

Professional disappointments can be devastating. But, life experienced reveals that 'bye and 'bye, all things can work together for good. That knowledge has kept my "on my feet". What a blessing!

Boost Your Energy

2010-05-15T19:52:00.000-04:00

How do you sustain a high energy level? Some of the most common ways are:

Getting sufficient rest
Maintaining a physical exercise routine
Monitoring vitamin D Level
Catching rays of sunshine

Recently I came across an enlightening list of Energy Zappers. I "pass forward" this list of habits and conditions to avoid:

Addiction to email
Visual clutter
Being bored (avoiding takss)
Poor posture
Toxic indoor air
Eating too much at once
Living in artificial light
Listening to Negative Nellies
Holding a grudge

Do any of these "speak" to you? I am paying attention to avoiding these drainers, and it is working! How do you boost your energy?

Protecting Our Personal Space

2010-04-15T21:52:00.000-04:00

I have learned to be careful, more precisely, I am cautious about who and what I allow into my personal space. Others in my space can distract me from my purpose or keep me focused. Others in my space can cause me to stumble and fall or provide a step up closer to my goals. Like a heavy rock, they can weigh me down or they can keep me anchored. They can drain or re-fill my energy.

The ability to accurately discern the vibrations comes from experience and is less about "head knowledge" than highly developed "gut response". A careful selection of who and what is a part of our environment is particularly critical in our homes.

I recently welcomed three bamboo plants into my home. Since January of this year, I have been preparing an environment in which they will thrive so that I can thrive. The names of my housemates are Salem (Peace), Truth and Glory. They now join others in my indoor garden - Courage, Nia (Purpose), M'dear and Tvinity. With whom do you share your personal space?

Honoring Four Black Women of Letters

2010-02-22T20:15:00.000-05:00

During 2010 African American History Month, I honor four Black Women of Letters. While each woman is distinctive, they all share: a connection to the month of February, the  title "Educator", a passion for letters - reading and writing, extraordinary professional achievement, a fighting spirit, a celebration of life ...and a link to me.

The face of Anna Julia Haywood Cooper graces the 32nd stamp in the Black Heritage series issued by the U.S. Postal Service in February 2010. She was an educator, scholar, feminist and activist. Born into slavery @1858, Cooper lived until the height of the civil rights movement (1964).  Cooper was the fourth African American woman to earn a Ph.D. and the first Black woman to receive a doctoral degree from the Sorbonne in France. Through her writings, public speaking, community organizing, and teaching, Cooper challenged racism and sexism and she insisted on rigorous education for "a neglected people". Her collection of essays and speeches is entitled A Voice from the South by a Black Woman of the South. Cooper was the principal and a teacher at the Preparatory High School for Colored Youth (now named Dunbar High School) in Washington, D.C. [my hometown] and she taught at the post-secondary level as well. Cooper encouraged the African American community to promote its own folklore, literature and artistic culture.

The dash on the tombstone of Pauline Smith Bigby contains the story of a pursuit of education and a passion for the literary and performance arts. Born February 6, 1919,  she died February 28, 1988, losing a 25-year battle against cancer. She too was a child of the South (S.C.). Bigby was orphaned at age 8. She and her 7 siblings were raised by a great uncle who was a former slave, a preacher, and a storyteller. Bigby left home to attend Bettis Academy and Benedict College, both church - established institutions for African Americans. Later she received a Masters Degree from George Washington University. Like Cooper, she was widowed after only 2 years of marriage, but Bigby had twin daughters to raise. [I am one of the two.]   Bigby was passionate about education. She was a teacher in the D.C. public schools, Sunday School, neighborhood and her own home. She infused others, especially children, with both the discipline and love of reading, recitation, and writing. Her daughters, grandchildren, nephews and nieces all have a story about this woman who expressed her love by sharing a book, sending a personal handwritten note and reciting selections by her favorite poet, Paul Laurence Dunbar.

The words of poet Lucille Clifton were applauded as we mourned her death from cancer on February 13, 2010. She was 73. The first African American Maryland poet laureate (1979 - 1985), Clifton wrote about her family, adversity and success in the black community, and her role as a poet. Clifton was the author of 11 poetry collections, she published 20 children's books, and her poems appeared in 100+ anthologies. She was highly acclaimed: National Book Award winner, multiple Pulitzer Prize nominee, and Ruth Lilly Poetry Prize recipient. The first in her family to graduate from high school, Clifton attended Howard University and she taught at Coppin State College and Goucher College [my alma mater]. One journalist wrote, "[Clifton] became known as a distinctive writer who identified herself forcefuly as a mother and a black woman".  A few years ago, I attended a reading/book signing by Clifton. Very personable, she wrote words of encouragement to "the Smith story tellers" [my most treasured autograph]. Our favorite poem is "won't you celebrate with me" from Mercy (copyrighted 2004).

The home of Pauline A. Bigby is filled with books. The first in her family to receive a Ph.D. (University of Michigan), she is a reading and curriculum specialist and former Language Arts Coordinator for the Ann Arbor Public Schools.  Now, she provides services through Splendor Educational Consulting. A consummate teacher and mentor of "a neglected people", Bigby promotes African American literature, facilitates academic and cultural excellence in the African American community, and fosters literacy among all peoples. Her calling is "enhancing literacies through family-school-community partnerships".  For nearly 20 years, she has organized "African-American Read-In" (AARI) events in Michigan.  AARI events are held during February in communities around the world to encourage reading of books by African and African American authors. Bigby founded the Ypsilanti AARI. This event highlights local authors, offers free books to youth, and showcases performing artists. Bigby organized/s similar events in Ann Arbor and Washtenaw County, Michigan. Underwriting much of the cost herself, Bigby is an unsung heroine, a Black woman of letters. I honor her [my twin].

A Voice and A Presence - Mental Health Advocacy

2010-01-22T20:06:00.000-05:00

On an unseasonably warm, clear, beautiful day in January 2010, a coalition of 26 statewide organizations in Maryland convened in the capital of Annapolis to give a clear voice and bring an undeniable presence to the halls of the General Assembly on the matter of the State Budget. A member of NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness), I was there.

We came from across the State; we moved through the halls of legislative power riding in wheelchairs, walking with athletic footwear, striding in furlined boots and strutting on 2-inch high heels. We came armed with packets of facts and figures in our hands and with personal stories in our hearts. We came with a message: (1) No Further Cuts to the State Agency administering mental health services; further cuts would cut "bone". (2) 10 cents makes sense as a tax on alcoholic beverages for a dedicated revenue source for mental health services.

You may not know that:

Mental illnesses are biologically based brain disorders.
1 in 5 families are directly impacted by mental illness.
The costs of undiagnosed and untreated mental illnesses are borne in our homes, work places, schools, neighborhoods and places of worship.
Mental illnesses are treatable and recovery is possible.

We wanted to be certain that the legislators know.

Individually and collectively we made our case. As a member of NAMI-MD (National Alliance advocation Mental Illness), we visited the office of each Delegate and Senator; we engaged them in conversation; we asked for their support; we reminded them that we are voters. Recognizing those legislators who are championing our cause, we rallied en mass at the Lawyers Mall.

Not mental health professionals and not as lobbyists, we used our own voices as consumers and family members to educate and advocate for investments in mental health care and thereby an improved quality of life for all residents and institutions in our State.

You may not know that mental health advocacy is:

A Voice
A Presence
An Accomplishment
An Empowering Act

THIS SEASON

2009-12-20T19:26:00.000-05:00

For many, this season of holy days (commonly called holidays) extends from Thanksgiving Day in November, includes Christmas in December, Kwanzaa in December, the New calendar Year, Jubilee Day, Marting Luther King, Jr Birthday Observance, My Birthday (any other Aquarians out there?) in January, through Black History Month in February.

We celebrate with family gatherings, community festivals, food/feasts, greeting cards, and other observances. How do you celebrate? If you don't have a tradition for your special holy day, start one.
I would love to have you share your traditions - old and new - with Empowered Walking Ministries.

During this season, remember, reflect, renew and recommit to those things which are good and perfect.

May you and all who you hold dear have a joyous and fruitful Season of Holy Days.

Christmas Message

2009-12-06T18:18:00.000-05:00

"God with us". God came in the flesh. With great anticipation during this Advent Season, many of us plan and prepare for multiple celebrations and fellowships as part of a Christian observance of the delivery of a new birth. There is no greater joy than a child's birth. I love the excitement, the togetherness, and the treasured time we enjoy during this Holiday...during these Holy Days.

                                       HOLY-DAYS

Let’s embrace the Blessings of this Season of Holy-Days:
                                Peace, Joy and Love

Peace upon Birth
The New Born, the Now Reborn; the Not yet Born

Joy of Connection
Creator, Community, Cousins

Love through Service
The Lord Almighty, the Light Aglow, the Life Available
                                        Hmmm

I think that I will live as if each day is HOLY.

©2008 Maxine Bigby Cunningham, from Power Walking, a Journey to Wholeness

Benefits of Sharing

2009-11-18T19:26:00.000-05:00

Sharing my writings is celebratory! Whether through a poetry reading, a workshop, a display, a speaking presentation, or storytelling before an audience of 1 or a crowd of 500, sharing is an opportunity to both give and receive. Sharing is anything but "walking alone down a one-way street". Sharing is an opportunity...

to connect with others intellectually, emotionally & spiritually
to provide others with new skills or new perspectives
to ascertain new facts & ideas
to gather with friends
to make new friends
to learn more about one's self

Would love to have you at my Sharing Events (see Event Calendar).

Take this opportunity to post your thoughts on benefits of sharing.

"Going Through" to a New Beginning

2009-09-08T09:45:00.000-04:00

The expression “going through” conjures up notions of temptation, testing, trial, turbulence, and turmoil. Another way of understanding this process called “going through” is preparation, separation, evaluation, confirmation and evolution.

No question, “going through” is rigorous training, an exercise regimen, and a vigorous work-out. Like the signs of autumn, in our lives there are signs that we are about to transition, to “go through”.

1. Days darken - there is more to do each day than there are hours in the day

2. Flower petals fall - we become blind to the beauty of life

3. Tree branches become bare - we look for shelter from pending storms

4. Climate temperatures drop - our future prospects seem chilling

5. God’s creatures move into hibernation - we cannot find our friends, our support system

When struck by natural, economic, social, or spiritual disasters, survivors are faced with a prospect of having to start over. Losses of any kind – physical, mental, spiritual or relationships – all can be disastrous.

Choosing to pursue a New Beginning is significant. This decision will mean that there is a process which you must “go through”.

There may be obstacles to a New Beginning:

1. Forgetfulness - Failing to remember our visions of a new life

2. Experiences - Labeling valuable lessons as seeming “failures”

3. Avoidance – Sidestepping unfamiliar and uncomfortable actions

4. Relinquishing – Denying personal responsibility for realization of our dreams

5. Stopping – Failing to persevere to the end of the journey

These are some steps to a New Beginning:

1. Thoughts precede manifestation. Keep thoughts positive. Align thought energy with who you want to be.

2. Visualization fortifies intention, keeps focus, and sharpens awareness. Let every day be prayerful, thankful, and mindful.

3. Imagination creates expressions of aliveness - mind, body and spirit. Feel, move and dance.

4. Nourishment provides energy for endurance. Nourish the mind with positive thoughts; nourish the body with nutritious food; nourish the spirit with unconditional love.

5. Empowerment prevails over impediments to well-being and enables birth of a New Beginning.

Share the steps you have taken, are taking, or will take to reach your New Beginning!

On your mark! Get set! Go!

2009-08-09T19:56:00.000-04:00

Reflections on readiness.

As a child I loved to play a game of "Racing" in the back alley. The kids on the block all gathered there. One would declare him/her self the announcer as the rest of us lined up at the chalk- drawn starting line. Sometimes we ran and sometimes we skated. Either way, we would get set (get ready) to "move at the speed of lightning".

In dramatic Olympic fashion, the announcer yelled, "On your mark! Get set! Go!" We had but a few seconds to prepare ourselves: position our bodies, focus our minds and affirm our determination ... and ability to reach the finish line first. It was all in fun.

Not just a play thing anymore, I reflect on the gap between "get set" and "go". I am engaged in a serious game of life change (and I'm not talking about hormones).

I have spent a great deal of time getting ready to get ready to get ready. I used to laugh at myself, just thinking about how funny that sounded whenever I defended my "not yet" inactions. Just the thought of changing can be overwhelming, threatening, paralyzing. What? do something new, something different, something unfamiliar, something uncomfortable, something difficult, something painful?

Now, I don't want to hear that "change" is the only constant. I've heard that before; I've even said the same to others. My challenge is "walking my talk".

I know the change that I want. I have given this change a name. I have completed all of the formal requirements; I have studied and earned my "papers"; I have performed and earned my "points"; I have communicated, consulted, and connected in preparation for achieving my goal. I have drafted my resume and my plan of action. I have nearly finished my vision board.

Alas, like the lame man, I lie at the Pool of Bethesda, full of excuses for not more agressively pursuing my passion, Empowered Walking Ministries. I know the steps:

1. [Get on my feet.] I believe I can master the entrepreneurial as well as creative disciplines
2. [Take baby steps.] I am finishing Vision, the last section of my collage of word expressions.
3. [Stay on my feet.] I acknowledge that I will experience difficulties.
4. [Walk differently.] I walk in the authority of knowing that difficult does not mean impossible.

Jesus asked, "Do you want to get well?" Hearing the lame man's excuses, Jesus responded, "Get Up! Pick up your mat and walk." [John 5]

Are you still playing games? Do you want to make a conscious change in your life's conditions? Do you want to fulfill your dreams? What steps are you taking to "walk your talk"?

Comments welcomed.

Four Letter Words

2009-08-01T19:50:00.000-04:00

I have a fascination with words. They send out powerful vibrations.

Isn't it fascinating how a single word may be both a noun and a verb? Examples: love, mind, help, hope and face.
Isn't it fascinating how a single word has different pronunciations and meanings? Example: tear (rip) and tear (drop of water from eye when one cries).
Isn't it fascinating how a single word may have contradictory meanings? Example: walk - enter and depart; come and go
Isn't it fascinating how an inflection, tone or accompanying facial expression renders a distinction to a word? Example: the word "what"

Perhaps you've noticed that I have a particular fascination with 4-letter words. Back in the day", a 4-letter word was a "cuss" word, a taboo and a sign of decadence, for sure. This day, I reflect on many a 4-letter word which will lift, move, and allow us to soar.

Some of my favorite 4-letter words:

love, self, heal, care
twin, face, hold, hope
pray, read, sing, talk
feel, hold, bold, next
body, mind, soul, well
true, done, move, live
days, hand, eyes, hair
poem, book, step, walk

I would love to hear from you! How many different 4-letter words can you find in this blog? Won't you share your favorite 4-letter words? Remember the words must make you soar!